Some Times I Can Feel You Again
Have you ever looked into the mirror, saw a strange face, and whispered to yourself, "I feel naught"?
It was like you weren't happy or sad.
You weren't depressed or excited, and sure y'all weren't miserable or satisfied.
You lot just felt nothing.
Yous look at all the people who complain about their emotions and how miserable they are.
And you wonder what'due south wrong with those people!
And you look at those who depict their emotions equally euphoric feelings and you accept no clue how that feels similar.
You tin't chronicle to whatsoever of these groups of people. Your emotions are kind of numb.
It's not a good to feel nothing at all.
Emotions are a form of human being'southward vulnerability.
And this vulnerability is what helps you connect, on a deeper level, with people and yourself.
The inability to feel bad means the inability to feel good too.
Emotional numbness is non a blessing.
In this article, we will discuss what causes this emotional numbness in the commencement identify.
And and so, what we can practise in order to experience something over again.
What Can Cause Emotional Numbness?
Of course, we can't say that all people feel nothing because of one reason.
Usually, a lot of reasons and variables pb to the end consequence of emotional numbness.
However, in that location are reasons which are very common (particularly 2 reasons).
We're going to talk nigh these reasons in a 2d.
And while every case is different, those side by side scenarios employ to many people.
But before we talk about these 2 reasons, I would similar to apace answer an important question …
Is It Borderline Personality Disorder Or Other Psychological Disorder?
It's a very tricky question.
And answering it incorrectly can kill any chance that yous have to feel anything again.
For instance, 'feelings of emptiness' is one of the symptoms and signs of both borderline disorder and bipolar disorder every bit well.
And ordinarily many other symptoms of these disorders tin friction match a wide range of situations.
So, those feelings of emptiness and "I feel nothing" emotions, forth with other symptoms that you are experiencing at that moment, can be enough to diagnose yourself with such a mental disorder, right?
Wrong!
Hither's the affair: you lot should never diagnose yourself past yourself based on symptoms that y'all discover online.
Those two disorders, among other disorders equally well, have a broad range of symptoms and it'south pretty easy for the average individual to observe some of these symptoms in their lives.
Nevertheless, symptoms are not everything and diagnose doesn't work that way.
Real diagnosis must be made by experts who are able to read between the lines and connect the dots considerately.
And when you say to yourself that you feel zip because you have a mental disorder, information technology doesn't feel expert.
Outset, you might experience helpless as y'all don't know how to care for it.
Second, y'all might feel like there'south something wrong with you and that yous are 'unfixable'.
That said, let's look at how emotional numbness can happen.
Abstention Strategy: I Feel Nothing Because It Hurts To Feel Something
It's like going through a traumatic experience and equally a consequence, your mind shuts off the feelings.
And it may sound like a adept strategy to handle the bad emotions.
Merely as Brene Brown mentions in her volume, Daring Greatly, you tin can't selectively numb emotions.
When you numb the bad you also numb the good.
This can happen early in your childhood after an intense experience.
Your brain felt as well much pain. And it saw that the all-time way to preclude this from happening again was to shut down and make you feel nothing.
Or it tin can happen later an intense experience in your life. A breakdown, a loss of loved one, a big failure/rejection or even a very stressful period in your life.
So many people say that emotional sensitivity can be the reason that you feel nothing at all.
It's like going from an extreme to another farthermost after getting injure.
From beingness sensitive to feeling nothing at all because existence sensitive had hurt you.
It's similar treating everybody nicely and getting hurt or rejected. And then, you start treating everybody in a bad way so that you don't get injure or rejected once more.
No one wants to get hurt again. No one wants to be in pain once more.
It's better to exist a cold bastard than a person who gets hurt every now and then. At least that's how your mind sees it.
Of form, that is not true just it works somehow in keeping you away from getting hurt (and also from feeling good).
Jim Rohn once said, "The walls that keep away the disappointment also continue away happiness."
To elaborate on this indicate, yous can Brene Brownish's book Daring Greatly. It goes deeper on concepts such as shame and vulnerability.
Workout
When yous feel a certain emotion for a long catamenia of fourth dimension, it can become your norm.
For instance, depression and feet can go the norm to someone if this person feels depressed almost of the time.
It'south like getting adapted to this level of anarchy that information technology becomes your norm.
And it may sound like a bright idea to get used to hurting and hurt to the point of non beingness fazed past them anymore.
But in reality, it is still the aforementioned sad story.
It's even worse because you settle and decide to stay in the chaos and surrender.
But this strategy can't piece of work on its own.
There is no switch to turn feelings on and off. You lot accept to proactively step in and numb your emotions past yourself.
We do that using different means. Anything from distraction to actual addictions.
The more extreme the ways, the number information technology will leave us.
I would like to aggrandize on this point and talk about 1 of the dangerous means we utilise to numb our emotions …
Arousal Addiction: When Y'all Spiral Upwardly Your Dopamine System
This might surprise many of you lot, only information technology is something that we demand to think seriously about.
When I say the word "addiction", I'm not simply talking virtually drugs or alcohol.
I'thousand talking virtually anything that can mess up your dopamine system.
I'thousand talking about anything that we utilize in an try to numb our emotions and feelings.
Right here I want to talk about arousal habit specifically.
Arousal Addiction is a little chip different than the normal addiction.
And this deviation is what screws u.s.a. up fifty-fifty more.
It all can exist boiled down to:
- Arousal addiction is not almost getting more than of the addictive substance. It'due south virtually novelty and getting exposed to unlike dopamine-inducing sources.
- Too much dopamine is released. Why?
- Considering novelty is not a problem. Nosotros have entire industries and businesses competing on providing novel content. And this content is 1 touch/click away thanks to applied science.
- The cease event is easy access to behaviors that fuck up how we feel.
Allow me explain.
When you release insane amounts of dopamine, you lot will surely experience good …
… for a while!
After that, normal activities volition non produce the aforementioned amount of dopamine and volition, therefore, experience dull and empty.
Dr. Philip Zimbardo, who initially raised this issue, said that it is about beingness addicted to things like watching porn, gaming, and also net to the point of indulging in these activities excessively.
Recall of someone who watches porn 3 hours every mean solar day, plays video games five hours each day and spends the rest of the day browsing Facebook, Reddit, and YouTube. And obviously he has no social skills or social life.
That's arousal addiction at its best.
While that tin be an extreme example, still the concept is the same.
These behaviors over-stimulate dopamine and that can lead to missed upward emotions.
And this is the whole point.
When dopamine is over-stimulated, your dopamine receptors will get desensitized considering there is then much pressure on them.
That is, they volition get shut downwardly because this dopamine is more than than they can handle.
Therefore, they volition not respond unless to activities that produce insanely huge amounts of dopamine.
Everything else will become boring and emotionless.
At present, what if it was extremely easy to over-stimulate dopamine?
Wouldn't it be a disaster?
Unfortunately, it is easy.
We are living in what I like to phone call, "a dopamine-oriented society."
Non only porn and gaming.
The limitless scroll down on social media sites and video sites. The abiding engagement with messaging apps and the distracting notifications. Online (or offline) shopping.
(Annotation: if you are a male person, or a female who cares almost her mate/brother/son, then I recommend Dr. Zimbardo'south book Human, Interrupted: Why Immature Men are Struggling & What Nosotros Can Do Well-nigh It. It explains what is causing this demise, the reasons, and offers some solutions. And yes, I exercise believe that men are more prone to this bug. And that doesn't mean women are not!)
In brief, technology.
Through technology, nosotros can have unlimited, like shooting fish in a barrel admission to materials which can over-stimulate and abuse our healthy dopamine production.
When we access these materials and become those dopamine surges, we distract ourselves and numb our emotions.
And seriously, we usually binge on these things when we are distressing or disappointed.
Just pay attention how much scrolling you practise when you are downwards, or bored, or stressed out, or depressed!
But sadly, the medium is addictive.
Nosotros come dorsum once more and again to go those dopamine surges.
We get them easily and nosotros get to numb the heavy feelings.
We go deep every bit novelty is never a problem in today's world.
In the cease, we will reach the point where nosotros are numb and lamentable.
And we volition attempt to numb this sadness past going deeper.
Nosotros will succeed. Just then there volition be more sadness.
We will again try to numb information technology and bury it.
A drug aficionado needs more drug,merely we merely need novel/unlike junk. And there's no shortage of that.
And the cycle is repeated.
Not only is choosing to numb emotions a bad conclusion, but also nosotros have devilish methods to numb and shut them down.
And so, when you lot hear "numbing emotions", don't assume it's only virtually swallowing bills or junking your artillery. It can be very subtle and it tin can become under your radar.
So, How To First Feeling Again?
You don't want to spend the rest of your life similar a robot.
It'due south better to feel pain than to experience zip at all.
This hurting volition assist you grow somehow.
This hurting is a proof that you lot're a human.
You're still a human and yous can feel emotions. And they can make sense oft them instead of existence paralyzed by them.
Figure out what you lot're afraid of. It might be unpleasant to admit, but it is important to give it a name.
In brief, drib this defence mechanism of not wanting to ever get hurt.
Vulnerability is about risking beingness hurt, rejected, or risking failing.
It might not experience good, just it's essential if you lot want to exist your true self and connect with yourself and with the world around you authentically.
And, please, give your dopamine system a intermission and let information technology recover.
Learn more than almost arousal habit.
Cease these addictive behaviors that can numb you.
Indulging in these behaviors excessively will hurt you as much as drugs can hurt a junkie. Maybe non right abroad, just somewhen the damage will be done.
And the damage is already being done if y'all take read this commodity and some parts of it resonated with you.
I've said information technology twice and I'll say it over again and once again: "The walls that are keeping away the disappointment as well keep away happiness." ~Jim Rohn.
Source: https://worthyinside.com/i-feel-nothing/
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